Selena Gomez’s reactions at the MTV VMAs led to hot takes and a wide array of thinkpieces. The way she responded to all the viral moments prove that she’s really over all of it and brings up an important discussion about celebrity social media discourse and public opinion.

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Whatever you think of all the Selena Gomez viral videos and hot takes about her VMAs appearance on social media, she’s over it. The multi-hyphenate’s reactions during the MTV Video Music Awards garnered plenty of attention, and all sorts of discourse has put her on the top of the trends list once again.

“DRAGGED FOR BEING MYSELF”

Selena went viral during Olivia Rodrigo’s VMAs performance, where the deja vu singer reenacted her vampire music video by staging a faux stage and pyrotechnic malfunction and Selena could be seen holding a hand to her ear. And of course, the narrative people on social media ran with was that she didn’t like Olivia’s performance.

This is completely unfair and out of context: Olivia pretended to have her set break down and semi-explode as she was fake rushed off stage, and Selena was reacting to that, probably thinking something was really going wrong. #VMAs https://t.co/lOYsxKv2Ct

— Gibson Johns (@gibsonoma) September 13, 2023

People defended her, though, clarifying that Olivia’s set surprised and confused the audience, especially with the singer’s fake-worried reaction to her own stage. Selena herself commented on an Instagram post about her reaction, explaining “I heard a loud noise and it scared me.”

Instagram/BuzzfeedCeleb

Second, when she made a face at convicted assaulter Chris Brown’s nomination, she earned all sorts of reactions—mostly positive, though. She was praised for showing disapproval of the artist. And then she made headlines again when she commented on an iHeartRadio Australia Instagram post about the “incident” saying, “Who cares lol.”

Instagram/IHeartRadioAU

Selena took to Instagram after all that to comment, saying, “I will never be a meme again. I’d rather sit still than be dragged for being myself. Much love.”

Instagram/Selenagomez

Within a day, public opinion about Selena swayed so fast with just a few seconds of videos and some viral posts. And it’s happened many times to Selena before, her Francia Raisa incident among them.

And while it’s ironic she’s making headlines (even ours) after subtly (and perhaps inadvertently) shedding light on sensationalism, it’s worthy to have a discussion about the problem with going viral, unwarranted think-pieces, and pushing our own narratives on celebrities and everything we see on social media.

THE PROBLEM WITH VIRALITY

Selena has had a year in the spotlight. From the “beef” with Hailey Bieber, to being made a meme multiple times, the star has gone viral so often just for existing—as celebrities often do.

insatgram/selena gomez

 

And whether or not you like or care at all about Selena, all these instances beg the question of how easy it is for us to fall into the trap of basing our opinion of people and issues on what we see through a screen. Of course, a person’s actions do help form our opinion of them, but in the spotlight, at a time where anybody can post a photo or video without context and frame a moment however they like, our assumptions and hot takes are less grounded on actual facts and context and instead hinges on “what’s this account with thousands of followers implying?” or “what’s the majority of people saying?” for fear of getting cancelled.

Celebrities themselves can also frame a narrative however they like (they literally have teams of people advising and executing such plans), so it’s really been tough to critically examine things or form our own opinions when control of media and public opinion is so easy to take.

So, it’s kind of new and refreshing to see Selena herself take control of the narrative and stand her ground with the truth on her side. People are quick to turn unnecessarily cruel or perceive not just celebrities, but anyone they see online, not as people but as fodder for hate or gossip or think-pieces. The online world has become so tricky and exhausting that we really often need to take a step back and reexamine ourselves, our obsession with celebrities, and our social media consumption.

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Don’t we all wish we could’ve done some things differently?

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In all honesty, I think my 18-year-old self should give me some advice. She still has some light in her eyes. I truly embody the Taylor Swift lyric “How can a person know everything at 18 but nothing at 22?” and I wonder what my 18-year-old self would think of me now. But with time comes learning, and while past is past, I still wish I could reassure my younger self that everything would be alright.

At 18 I was on my last year of high school, about to enter my dream program at my dream university, so excited at all the new that was about to happen.

Well, all this “new” came at me like a truck. To be fair, a pandemic was new. It was just the opposite of exciting. And after my first low grades and a rejection that truly, unfortunately, shaped my entire college life, I was henceforth sick and afraid of the new. But here I am, looking back, changed by time like water smoothing stone, hoping everything I learned could help someone else.

SO, TO MY 18-YEAR-OLD SELF:

Resist the urge to underestimate yourself, but keep the humility.

First things first—you’re going to think you peaked in high school. And that’s kinda not true. Kidding aside, college is a shark tank of all the smartest, most ambitious sharks that want the same things you do. It’s easy to get overwhelmed, to think you can get swallowed up by all the doubt and shrink into yourself, believing that there’s no space for you to explore and pursue your dreams. But don’t.

You’re where you are because you, and other people, had faith in your ability and your promise. So keep that faith locked in. There’s enough space in the world for you to learn, to chase your own dreams, and to do what you love.

You can’t give up the moment it gets hard. You can handle more than you think you can.

Speaking of underestimating yourself, I’ve always been so guilty of simply passing over opportunities because I think I can’t do it. Or that it’s not “worth it.” I’ve said “okay na yan” more times than I can count. I lower the bar because I’m afraid of pushing myself to the limit only to fail. But I know that you can’t see the view from the top of a mountain without making the climb.

And I don’t tend to regret many things, but looking back, I know I was too complacent and never pushed myself or my work to its best. Unfortunately, I find that I still do that sometimes. But we work through it. You power through the anxiety and the fear of failure, and you’ll strike gold.

Open yourself up to the possibility of enjoying and learning from new experiences.

Some of my favorite classes were electives that I took because I was drawn to it, despite the potential of a bad grade, or classes I thought were unnecessary. Some of my lowest grades were in those kinds of classes, too! But as a self-proclaimed nerd, I found that the learning was worth any bad grade. Also, some of my favorite experiences in student organizations were in positions I didn’t even think I qualified for.

I learned so much from those classes and org experiences, and not just about the lessons and the kind of work I did, but about myself and all the possibilities I had in front of me. How would I feel if didn’t let myself be open to the possibility that an experience, while presumably out of my comfort zone, could be great for me? I’ll have spent so much time wondering what if or being ignorant about something that could help me understand myself and the world I wanted to partake in.

Surround yourself with good people, and be the kind of good people you want to be surrounded by.

My thesis partner, whom I knew since freshman year, once said to me that they regretted that we only became close during our final year, and while the pandemic (and unfortunate circumstances at the time) did fracture newly-formed friendships, I was lucky to have found friends that will stick with me long-term. I don’t have to tell you to be a good person or a good friend, but you do have to choose friends wisely and with an open mind.

“Time goes fast. Eat it up, but chew slowly.” – Emily Wickersham

This is a shot of the driveway I got lost in the very first time I stepped on campus—the same driveway I spent about 20 minutes in every day both my freshman and senior year before going home. I don’t think it changed much, but I definitely have.

Four years of college went by just like that, and I’ll always feel a sense of resentment at having a full experience ripped away from me. But what the last few years have taught me is that you just have to take life day by day, moment by moment. Life changes and we grow old fast. Before you know it, you’ve graduated and you’re thinking about all the regrets you have and all the things you should have done and writing about them like you’re a 60-year-old with all the wisdom in the world. Regardless, while “make the most of what little time you have” is generic and clichéd, it’s always sound advice.

In all honesty, all that this sentimentality leaves way for is me wishing I knew better before. But the important thing is, I know better now. And hopefully, you do, too.

Continue Reading: So, You Just Graduated From College. Now What?

Doubts kill more dreams more than failure ever could.

I used to be a pretty confident kid. I was the type of person who loved performing on stage, singing in front of the whole school, and dancing as if I knew how to. Growing up, my family and friends validated me and gave me the boost that I needed to try new things.

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I studied at a Catholic school all my life and my mom closely raised me (almost) entirely on her own. Mostly living a sheltered lifestyle, it was when I entered college where I became exposed to a world that was bigger than me. There were people who wouldn’t think twice about humiliating or hurting me. And on occasions, I would realize that I wasn’t as good as I made myself out to be.

That’s when my doubts started to take over my life.

I lost my friends at the end of freshman year. They said I was too bubbly, laughed too hard, and was too immature. Everything I liked about myself became an insecurity.

I was so conscious about what people thought of me to the point that I would hide from my professors during recitation in fear of saying the wrong answer, I started doubting my writing because I felt like it wasn’t good enough for journalism, I quit chorale because my voice wasn’t as powerful as I had thought. The things that I was so sure about no longer inspired me. Up to this day, I still struggle with the same insecurities. At work, I would second-guess my skills, overthink before responding to messages, and I would get discouraged writing because I felt like my self-worth was measured by numbers.

I felt immobilized; like I couldn’t do anything right because I had so many negative introspections. Sometimes, I felt like an impostor even with my achievements and it made me realize that I gave up my aspirations and my passion, purely because I thought I wasn’t good enough.

This feeling reminded me of an encounter with my Anthropology professor back in college. He took recitations very seriously. He was intimidating, wise, and frankly terrifying. I skipped his classes despite wanting to learn from him because I was afraid that he would call me and I would say the wrong thing. Finally, a good friend noticed that I was avoiding his classes. She asked me to stay because we had a paper to turn in.

My worst fear (at the time) happened. He called my last name for a recitation. And as I read my essay in front of the whole class, the paper I was holding was shaking through my trembling hands. When I finished reading the essay, everyone fell silent. I couldn’t tell what was going on in my professor’s head—his deadpan eyes enough to make me return to my seat in shame. Did I get the assignment wrong? Did I misunderstand the lesson? 

Then he started lecturing the class about self-doubt. How often times, we underestimate the power of our mind and the influence of our voice. He looked at me and told me that he would like to hear about my ideas in class more.

Recently, I had the same experience at work. Responding to work messages still gives me anxiety. Asserting myself feels like I’m being a push-over, and with the work-from-home set-up where all means of communication are through texts and emails, it’s easy to be misunderstood. But I’m grateful to have a team that believes in me, supervisors who see my potential, and a family that supports my decisions. I realized that the only one stopping me from pushing myself further is me.

To this day, I’m still working on getting my confidence back up, but I don’t want to feel entrapped by my worries when there are so many opportunities out there. I want to be able to face a challenge with a brave face on and confidently say: I can do it.

I know I’m not the only one who struggles with self-doubt. Sometimes we become so obsessed with not committing any mistakes that we end up not being able to make room for growth. We are so caught up with being accepted and validated that we forget to live for ourselves. It should be okay to be wrong, it should be okay to feel good about the things you love, and it should be okay to not overthink all the time. Do the things you want to do no matter how daunting it may seem. And if at the end of the day, things still don’t go as planned, give yourself a pat on the back for being brave enough to try.