[OPINION] Labels can be empowering, but being pressured into labeling your sexuality can be a burden. 

Related: 7 Filipino LGBTQIA+ Commercials That Captured What It Means to Love

A friend once told me about an encounter they had where someone kept asking them how they identified. “Are you bi or lesbian or what?” It made them uncomfortable, because they didn’t know for sure if they could identify with a certain sexual orientation. And they never really thought that they had to be sure about what label they’re sticking onto themselves.

While the world has come a long way in terms of diversity and inclusivity, one thing that’s intensified over time is the prevalence and normalization of labels. Of course, labels are important in that we can ascribe a name to a certain existence, therefore realizing and validating that existence. It clarifies that which was initially unknown or unclear, and recognizes the differences between people—and thus the differences in our needs and experiences. Labels can help shape identity, forge connections, and build communities.

On the other hand, labels as they exist now are teetering somewhat dangerously on the line between freeing and limiting, in that enforced labelling pressures people into coming out or identifying with labels that aren’t quite right—which adds even more stress and confusion to the whole figuring-yourself-out thing.

BOXES AND LIMITATIONS

gentle reminder that while labels can be comforting, especially for people who feel alone and knowing they're not, labels can also be constrictive; people can feel pressured to choose labels and then feel stuck in that label. give people the space to make mistakes

— dany 🥟🐿️ (@shitty4eyes) June 13, 2019

Often, finding the right label feels like a spark of clarity. It allows people to learn about who they are and identify with a community.

The usage of labels, when treated as a rigid rule, can actually be limiting. Especially with media and social media making all sorts of impressions on young people, being pressured into identifying and naming your sexual or romantic orientation can be overwhelming. It can even take away from any sort of freedom bestowed upon someone who learned that the way they love breaks boundaries.

And there’s no excuse for people to force others to disclose their sexuality or identify with a label, whether they’re a celebrity or a friend. People are entitled to their privacy the same way they are entitled to the freedom of loving who they love and the freedom of figuring themselves out.

When it comes to sexuality and romantic attraction, labels should be “descriptive and not prescriptive.” Perhaps that’s why the usage of the term “queer” or “sapphic” or “gay” (in its most broad sense) is so popular these days. It allows people to explore their identities, identify with the community, and make sense of their existence without being restrictive.

FREEDOM OF IDENTITY

speculating on peoples orientations isnt just rude, its harmful. its stressful, and makes you feel pressured to state your orientation when you may be uncomfortable doing so, especially if youre not sure of your own labels and orientation.

— Tabs (@tabslemon) August 23, 2021

Sexuality, like gender, is a spectrum. It’s prone to changes and shifts—just like you, and just like life itself. Whether or not you choose to label yourself now, know that you can change, and that you are free to. You can acknowledge and respect the boundaries of definition when it comes to labels (and you should), but you don’t need to conform to any standards. You can change your labels, or choose not to have one. It’s perfectly fine to exist as you are and love as you do without having to stick a label on yourself or explain yourself to anyone.

Of course, being able to label and identify yourself proudly and freely is a privilege not afforded to all. The knowledge and discourse regarding queerness and sexuality that we are exposed to are not accessible to every person. And in the grand scheme of things, where members of the LGBTQIA+ community are being killed, detained, and demonized, one could make a case that the discussion of labels doesn’t seem to be the most pressing issue at hand. But it carries with it the implications of agency and self-determination, and could just help us learn a thing or two.

But essentially, you don’t have to brand yourself with a label, or stick forever with the label you proudly own now. People, life, and love are complex, and you can take as much time as you need trying to figure everything out. 

Continue Reading: Gen Z Speaks: Why It’s Important to Have Normalized Queer Representation in Filipino Media

With help from Gen Z members of the LGBTQIA+ community, we talk about the importance of diverse, normalized queer narratives in Filipino media.

Related: Sing It Loud, Sing It Proud: These Queer Filipino Musicians Are Unapologetically Raising Their Voices for the LGBQIA+ Community

While the prevalence of queer identities on local screens grows, the fight for diverse, authentic representation in Filipino media is an ongoing struggle. It’s not enough that a queer person is in a show or a movie, but the stories we tell must capture the breadth of queer experience.

It is, of course, important to be able to portray the unique struggles faced by the LGBTQIA+ community, as they are a marginalized community still not afforded the same rights as cisgender heterosexual Filipinos. But as we see the same characteristics and (often upsetting) storylines over and over again, isn’t it also important to tell stories where queerness is not the problem for once?

We reached out to a few queer Gen Z individuals—Jay, Tristan, Rylle, Izzy, Dom, Clara, and Kimiko—to get their takes on why normalized representation matters in the local scene, because time and time again, this generation proves they know what they’re up against, and they know what they’re talking about.

DEPTH AND DIVERSITY

@anothergaymer did you figure out who i referenced? #gay #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #representation #pride #pridemonth ♬ original sound – J

Countless studies and perspectives have emerged detailing how much the portrayal of queerness on Filipino screens are one-dimensional, stereotypical and often harmful, as they perpetuate rigid ideals about how queerness “should” be like.

Young writer Jay recalls growing up in the 2000s and watching Filipino shows where queer characters were present, but relegated to roles like the main character’s friend or comic relief. “While these are not inherently untrue portrayals,” they share. “[They] diminish the vast and complex tapestry of the queer identity and our representation falls easily into stereotypes—stereotypes that subconsciously affect people’s perception on the LGBTQ+ community, and these stereotypes often lead to harmful rhetoric.”

Given that there still exists oppression and discrimination against the LGBTQIA+ community, authentic, sensitive representation allows queer individuals to envision possibilities and be open to the breaking of boundaries.

Student Tristan shares, “For most of my life, I didn’t get the support system and healthy environment that some queers enjoy.

The queer experience is not monolithic—and the stories we tell shouldn’t be, either.

STORIES ON SCREEN

Representing queerness in local media, recent graduate Rylle says, draws attention to the struggles of the queer community. The kicker is—queer people struggle with more than just their genders and sexualities, and presenting those problems alongside the struggle of being queer can paint a more complete, more resonant picture of queerness to the general public. Stories on screen are valued both by the community whose stories are told as well as the people outside those circles.

“Queer representation reaches out to the young people who need to hear and see that it’s more than okay to take up space. It helps us plant our existence in society when we are able to see and relate to stories that are reflective of our own,” Dom remarks.

“Let the gays have their cheesy romcoms!” is a frequent sentiment echoed on social media. Having marginalized identities take up space in predominantly heterosexual contexts brings people on equal ground. So much of queer media focuses on homophobia, coming out narratives, and queer trauma. It’s time those stories stop being the only option and we explore more ways of representing queerness and queer love in media.

im so sick of people holding queer media to such a high standard, we want shitty romcoms and cheesy tv shows just like everyone else!

— ak (@VENEFLWRS) April 27, 2023

NORMALIZATION AS RESISTANCE

Normalizing queer existence, relationships, and love in a story means not treating queerness as the source of conflict or a problem to be solved. In a way, it resists predominant narratives that queerness is inherently tied to suffering and fear, othering and discrimination.

Recent graduate Izzy explains that “normalized queer representation helps overcome heteronormativity.” Shifting focus from gender and sexuality being the main concern in a narrative to acknowledging the complexity of queer experiences replaces “the idea na heterosexual relationships and heteronormative expressions of gender are the norm.” She adds:

A paradox lies within this nuance. While the LGBTQIA+ community is inherently “different” by virtue of their identity, their experiences are often set apart from those experienced by cisgender heterosexuals, as if they are incapable of feeling or acting or behaving the way the latter do just because they don’t fit into the perceived standards of what is “normal.”

“Despite queerness defying standards at its core, normalizing queer media offers comfort to the audience,” Clara comments. Pushing for the normalcy of queerness, while still acknowledging the community’s unique struggle, could lead to valuable conversations.

@fundforwomensequality The lack of representation of LGBTQ people in media is still a real issue. By seeing LGBTQ people represented in films, TV shows, and other forms of media, it not only gives encouragement to those struggling to come out but also helps fight outdated stereotypes. #lgbtq #mediarepresentation #lgbtqrights #inclusion #equality #lgbtqvisibility #queerpride ♬ original sound

Because yes, highlighting queer struggle illuminates how difficult it is to exist as a queer person, and could thus spark much-needed change. But stories that don’t focus on the struggles of being queer are important too, as they help queer individuals and audiences nuance their understanding of what it means to be queer, and reassures members of the community that it’s possible to live openly and freely. Jay explains,

LEAPS FORWARD

Artists and filmmakers like Samantha Lee have championed normalizing queer experience, particularly with her first miniseries Sleep With Me (2022), where the love story between two women is not complicated by their sexualities, but rather other issues and problems. Queerness was a norm itself. The intersectionality of queerness and disability are present, putting forth the value of acknowledging and highlighting such struggle, but queerness is not presented as a problem.

This is becoming a comfort series— sobrang feel good, light, and kilig. Lmao no dead lesbians nor arranged marriage, and grabe the normalcy cos it wasnt about coming out or what hays #sleepwithme pic.twitter.com/f7ORTpzter

— Mela is seeing Twice ✨ (@carmelabiscuit) August 20, 2022

Stories like these set a precedent for young storytellers, producers, and audiences to patronize diverse queer representation in Filipino media.

“In a way,” Rylle muses. “[Filipinos] haven’t really basked in their own unique queerness yet. And it’s still a struggle for some to come to terms with who they are, because they don’t have anything to ‘put’ themselves in yet, especially since most of what they understand of the Filipino environment is prejudice.”

Wouldn’t we love to change that? To foster a change in how the LGBTQIA+ community is perceived? To present more possibilities to people still figuring out who they are? As artist Kimiko notes,

So if you’re an aspiring filmmaker or storyteller, don’t feel as if you have to ascribe to certain formulas or stick to the usual narratives. Diverse stories matter. Your stories matter. The struggle for queer liberation is a blazing fire, and could be further stoked by a simple, bold statement: we are here.

Continue Reading: What the Success of Rookie Means for Samantha Lee and Pat Tingjuy

Expand your horizons and expose yourself to the diverse stories of women loving women in different forms of media.

Related: Love Wins (and Hurts) in These Award-Winning Filipino Queer Films

In the world’s ever-growing repertoire of queer media, stories about sapphics/women-loving-women still take up much less space than their male-dominated counterparts. There’s much discussion to be had about “proper” queer representation in media in general, but for now it’s good to diversify our own libraries, per se, by checking out these movies, series, and books all available to watch, stream, and read—and all about the sapphics.

MOVIES

The Half of It (2020)

This movie is a consistent placer on lists of great WLW media. And for good reason! The Half of It is a retelling of the 1897 play Cyrano de Bergerac, in that it features our protagonist Ellie (Leah Lewis) pretending to be someone else while communicating with someone they like. The Half of It is a subversive and refreshing take on sapphic media, touching on issues of freedom and friendship as it puts young, sweet relationships in the limelight.

Baka Bukas (2016)

Fresh from the successful theatrical run of her new film Rookie, Samantha Lee has proven to deliver quality queer content. As Lee’s first project as director, Baka Bukas achieved success and set the foundations for her career of crafting beloved sapphic stories. In the film, Alex (Jasmine Curtis-Smith) helplessly falls for her best friend Jess (Louise delos Reyes) and they must navigate a world of changes to their relationship. Baka Bukas will be available to stream on Netflix starting August 25.

Shiva Baby (2020)

Danielle (Rachel Sennott) is a hot queer mess. What else would you be when you attend a shiva (a week-long period of mourning practiced in Judaism) with your entire family, your ex-girlfriend, and your sugar daddy and his wife and child? Shiva Baby is praised for being hilarious and awkward, with Danielle being “cringe-worthy in the best way,” and is a movie to be watched through horrified looks and snorts of laughter.

Billie and Emma (2018)

Set in the 90s, Billie and Emma lays out the conflicts of being gay and being a young woman in a small town. Billie (played by openly queer Zar Donato) is sent to a strict all-girls Catholic school where she meets smart, popular Emma (Gabby Padilla), and faces a slew of resistance to their relationship—one of which is Emma’s sudden pregnancy. Samantha Lee’s second film is genuine, fun, and is unafraid to be honest in representing tough issues. It champions queer love both in the story and its production.

Crush (2022)

This high school rom-com is light fun with a sweet ending. Crush was accompanied by a calling-out controversy involving star Auliʻi Cravalho, targeted at co-star Rowan Blanchard. Regardless, the two exuded adorable chemistry and sincerity in the coming-of-age film about artist Paige (Blanchard) navigating her long-harbored feelings for crush Gabriella (Isabella Ferreira) and newfound feelings for Gabriella’s sister AJ (Cravalho).

Rookie (2023)

The way Samantha Lee consistently delivers lovely, genuine sapphic stories is awe-inspiring. Her most recent work is a love story set in the world of high school volleyball. Rookie stars Pat Tingjuy as Ace, a reluctant basketball player-turned-volleyball player, and Aya Fernandez as Jana, the driven captain of the volleyball team. Rookie won three awards at the Cinemalaya 2023 awarding ceremony: Best Editing, Audience Choice, and Best Actress for Tingjuy.

SERIES

Warrior Nun (2020)

If you were on X (formerly Twitter) last year, you’d have seen the outrage that poured in at Netflix’s cancellation of fantasy series Warrior Nun. Thankfully, just last August 16, it was announced that the story will continue as a trilogy, much to the delight of its dedicated fanbase. The story of demon fighters, “warrior nuns,” Ava (Alba Baptista) and Beatrice (Kristina Tonteri-Young) hopefully gets to continue in all its glory.

Sleep with Me (2022)

Samantha Lee’s first streaming series is a warm, intimate look at a budding romance between Harry (Janine Gutierrez), a late-night radio DJ and wheelchair-user, and Luna (Lovi Poe), a textbook writer with a disorder that only lets her sleep during the day. Sleep with Me is a comforting rom-com with adorable performances, discussion on intersectionality, and a clear focus on love between two women.

BetCin (2021)

This miniseries looks into the world of online dating coupled with the pressures of being an online couple. This close to breaking up, Beth (Kylie Padilla) and Cindy (Andrea Torres), receive news that they were selected to join a #RelationshipGoals contest where they have to prove to everyone that they’re the perfect couple so they could win a whopping 10 million pesos. Now the question is: how far can they go before something snaps?

Pearl Next Door

Webseries Pearl Next Door is another local offering that stars beloved BL Gameboys character Pearl (Adrianna So) and chronicles her journey to find love. Whether that’s with Karleen (Iana Bernardez), her best friend, or Alex (Rachel Coates), her former childhood best friend, you’ll have to watch to find out. Presented in a screenlife format with characters talking through screens, Pearl Next Door captures a modern, easy charm largely due to the distinct personalities of its characters.

Dickinson (2019-2021)

Hailee Steinfeld plays prolific poet Emily Dickinson in this comedy-drama series about her life, romance with her best friend and future sister-in-law Susan Gilbert (Ella Hunt), and the limitations and pressures placed on a woman artist at the time. In a deliberate decision, Dickinson uses modern language and anachronism to deliver a fun, steamy, relatable story about love, womanhood, and freedom.

BOOKS

One Last Stop (2021)

Casey McQuiston’s debut novel Red, White, and Royal Blue found peak success both as a novel and now as a hit Amazon Prime movie adaptation. Their second novel One Last Stop is another prime example of WLW literature done well, with eccentric but authentic characters, a very subtle magical/sci-fi premise, and soaring, electric writing. August Landry meets punk, leather-clad rebel Jane Su on a train and falls in love. Only one problem: Jane is lost in time. She’s from the 1970s, she’s stuck on the train, and August will do anything to help her.

Hani and Ishu’s Guide to Fake Dating (2021)

Everybody loves a good fake dating trope. Popular, bisexual student Hani comes out to her friends, but they’re invalidating and disbelieving! She lies that she’s actually in a relationship with a girl—Ishu. Ishu is smart and driven, and she agrees to fake date Hani if it means it gets her elected head girl. The YA novel is a breath of fresh air as it puts Bengali girls in the spotlight and uniquely intersperses their stories with a tried-and-true trope.

She Gets the Girl (2022)

Alex is brave, flirtatious, and fresh from a breakup she hopes isn’t for good. Molly is awkward and incapable of talking to her crush. They hatch a plan to work together to get their respective interests to love them, but can you take a guess as to who falls in love instead? Slow burn with a lot of banter, She Gets the Girl is a lighthearted classic YA read written by real-life wives.

Juliet Takes a Breath (2016)

Juliet is a lesbian Latina interning in Portland, Oregon for her favorite white feminist author Harlow Brisbane. She spends her summer figuring out everything about not just being gay, but being a gay, female, person of color in this vast, crazy world. Juliet Takes a Breath is a funny, moving, intersectional exploration of identity and the complexity of people.

The Falling in Love Montage (2020)

A light, fun read, The Falling in Love Montage sees cynical Saoirse embark on a summer fling with the vivacious Ruby. They agree to go on cheesy, romantic dates that’ll end the moment summer does—but of course, when has that ever worked out? This book offers a cute premise, a love built between two very different girls, family, and strong personalities.

It is stellar to see so much diversity in contemporary media, and we hope it only gets better from here. Love female and sapphic love by breathing in these stories and letting them lead us towards a more open world.

Continue Reading: The Inside Story of How The Lovers, An Animated WLW Short Set In the Philippines, Came To Be