Being a “girl’s girl” at its core means you uplift, support, and stand up for women in a society where they’re often disadvantaged, whether they’re your friends or a stranger.
In this toxic world of petty jealousy and competition, it’s important to value female connections and understand how women can make each others’ lives just a little better. Just look at how Taylor Swift stuck by Sophie Turner amidst all the issues surrounding her divorce from Joe Jonas, or how Beyoncé and Taylor stuck by each other when the former showed up to Taylor’s Eras Tour film premiere. We pit women against each other over and over and over, and society sets us up to function with an ingrained sense of dislike towards other women—but enough of that!
The concept of being a “girl’s girl” could mean a few things. It could mean that you’re the antithesis of being a “pick me girl” or the opposite of someone who prides themselves on being “not like other girls.” It could mean simply being truthful to your female friends when someone wronged them or holding them accountable when they do something wrong. Regardless, it’s about being there for the girls in your life and valuing solidarity in womanhood.
@lilmikara what other rules would you add? #forthegirls #girlsgirl #beagirlsgirl ♬ original sound – Mikara
Of course, we can’t chalk up feminism, equality, empowerment and the complexities of womanhood to only what could be perceived as silly concepts like “girls’ girl.” However, with its spreading popularity as a term and the need for us girls to stick together, it may prove beneficial for us to unlearn some of the habits we’ve been conditioned to have and stick by a community that all throughout history has been given the short end of the stick.
CELEBRATION, NOT JEALOUSY
It’s so easy to fall into the trap of perceiving other women as a threat. Or to think that they’re superior or inferior to you. A quote from the Barbie movie encapsulates it all: “Everyone hates women. Men hate women and women hate women. It’s the one thing we can agree on.” The thing is—it doesn’t have to be like that! There’s space for all of us to excel and be successful in life, and to be happy doing the things we love to do. So, celebrate women’s achievements and be a good friend. What needs of ours are truly fulfilled when we tear someone else down?
I once had a guy friend badmouth a girl I knew straight to my face, and while I could understand where he was coming from in the context of our conversation, I was immediately put off because he was willing to talk like that about a girl just because he didn’t get what he wanted from her (also, he was in the wrong for sure). One of the most basic tenets of being a girl’s girl is staying loyal to your girl friends, especially when it seems like something sketchy is going on in their relationships. Even stars like Kathryn Bernardo and Kaori Oinuma know the value of staying loyal to the girls in your life. Only we understand each other in this chaotic world.
Being a girl’s girl doesn’t mean you support all women unconditionally. Of course, anyone can be a bad person or make mistakes, but in this society where women are often made out to be the villain and disadvantaged simply because they’re women, it’s important to see how power is distributed and how systems in place work (spoiler: unequally, with women at the margins). Remember the Try Guys Ned Fulmer and Alexandria Herring cheating issue? Alexandria herself may not have been a girl’s girl, but Try Guy Eugene Lee Yang was correct in saying that the Internet (and society) has a tendency to be harsher towards women.
So, be critical, always. Make an effort to find the truth in all situations, watch out for people who constantly blame or badmouth other women, and come from a critical standpoint whenever you’re assessing circumstances.
SHARE WHAT YOU KNOW
“Sharing what you know” ranges from telling a stranger she has a stain on her dress, or calling up your friend to tell her her boyfriend’s been flirting with some girl. It could include sharing self-defense tips, warning them of someone’s red flags, or telling them about simple life hacks that makes lives easier, among others. To share what you know in order to make a girl aware of what they need to be aware of, from mundane faux pas to serious issues, is part of the Girl Code.
STAND UP FOR OTHER WOMEN & VALUE COMMUNITY
I’ve also witnessed girls join their male friends as they make misogynistic “jokes” or laugh at other girls. Why are some people so willing to disrespect other women thinking that they might earn more respect that way? Defend your girl friends whenever you can and stand up for women everywhere. A community of girl’s girls built on shared experiences, utmost respect, and solidarity is one that will help all its members live better lives. It can become a safe, supportive space that could help us feel less alone, less unsure, and less afraid of navigating the challenges and injustices that girls and women all over the world face.