Yani gives us the scoop on her coming out, coming to terms with herself, and misconceptions faced by queer women.
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If you’ve been following Yani Villarosa these past few years, then you know that she isn’t one to be shy about sharing her experiences online. The Gen Z YouTuber and content creator has been candid about her trials and tribulations as a bisexual woman. With triumphs and mistakes along the way, Yani has been through it all, navigating the world that can still be so hostile to an already marginalized community. as a young queer woman.
THE B IN LGBT
Like many in the LGBTQIA+ community, Yani’s earliest inklings towards who she was started when she developed crushes on characters she saw on TV. As she got older, Yani continued to discover her identity, before she eventually realized that she was bisexual. “Parang senior high nalang ako nagkaroon ng realization na ‘ok, member ako ng community’ kasi I fell in love with a woman but hindi siya dun nag-stop,” she shared with NYLON Manila. Her work on Gabi ng Bading, the podcast she co-hosted with fellow content creator AC Soriano, proved to be another opportunity in Yani’s queer journey. “Through the podcast, I feel like dun ako mas nakapag-navigate ang bisexuality ako.”
But just like with any young person’s path to self-discovery, Yani’s wasn’t as simple as a walk in the park. Bisexuality, just like any identity on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum, is nuanced and doesn’t follow set guidelines. The Gen Z content creator credits her platform for being a positive tool to help her understand herself and help others know too that it’s ok if you don’t have everything figured out on day one.
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“After doing queer content online, dun ko lang mas naintindihan na gender is fluid, and mayroon akong ganitong uncertainties that’s part of being queer.” Making mistakes and being clumsy is a normal part of being young, much more so when you’re on that journey to understanding your queerness.
However, doing all that as a young public figure has had its downsides. Yani, who feels that she practically grew up on the internet with how long she’s been online, admits that balancing an extremely personal narrative with a public occupation wasn’t easy. “I had to learn the hard way,” she candidly shares. “The more I share on the internet, even if confident naman ako na safe ako sa community, the more they feel entitled to say anything about your life.” Time proved to be Yani’s bestie as she eventually learned the ropes, and even then she did not let those negative experiences stop her from being a visible queer female representation in a space that could use more of it.
TO BE A QUEER WOMAN
To be a woman in this world is not easy, but to be a queer woman is a whole other struggle. As sad as it is, in the LGBTQIA+ community, there exists homonormativity, as some people have yet to unlearn their biases and stereotypes of what people in the community should act and look like. Yani knows this as well. “I acknowledge naman na hindi man perfect ang nasa lahat sa community pero sobrang hirap i-navigate, may misogyny, may biphobia.” She points to the fact that misconceptions about queer women still run rampant in certain corners of the LGBTQIA+ community, especially online.
“Even from gays, mayroon silang misogynistic tendencies with how they comment on women, and as a queer woman, you deal with that.” It’s a struggle even she has faced internally in how she once dealt with internalized biphobia. She adds, “I think ang dami pang i-need magwork on sa kung paano i-perceive ang queer women because I don’t think narerealize ng people within the community kung ano yung mga bagay na nakakahurt sa queer women.”
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Still, it isn’t all doom and gloom. There are ways to unlearn these harmful tendencies and biases. There isn’t and shouldn’t be a standard on what it means to be a queer woman, both of which are already marginalized communities in themselves. For Yani, that starts with listening to the people who matter.
In the same way people listen to marginalized communities to understand and have their voices heard, so too should it be applied to women in the LGBTQIA+ community as a reminder that all forms of queer femininity are valid. “Listen to other people’s stories. You take your time to listen to other people in the community na parang paano ako magiging safe for you, paano ako hindi makakagawa ng tendencies or behaviors na hindi pala ok with you. It all starts from listening and learning from other people.”
TAKE IT EASY
Yani Villarosa began her queerness with pop culture, and it continues through pop culture. But while it’s more than okay to take inspiration from the things you see and consume, life isn’t a movie, and we all have our journey in life.
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For the young women still figuring out their identity, Yani shares that there’s no one size fits all, so take your time to discover yourself. “Huwag siyang madaliin at huwag hanapin yung safety na yon sa wrong places.” While the energy of youth might make you impulsive, it’s better to slow down because there’s no need to rush this. Most importantly, find that community you can trust and rely on to be your safe space.
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