You’re Not the Best And That’s Okay: Here’s Why You Should Stop Comparing Yourself to Other People

You're not Ken, but you are enough.

A gentle reminder: there’s nothing more beautiful than you being yourself.

Related: What Is A Girl’s Girl And How Can You Be One?

I’ve once heard someone say, “When you compare yourself to these girls on social media, you’re comparing the worst version of yourself to their best. After all, who would let the world see the not-so-pretty side of you?” While that’s one of the most beautiful things that has helped me call the cops on my pity party, why was there a need to compare in the first place?

Whether you’re placed in a competitive environment or conditioned to think you’re not enough, comparing yourself to other people can become a coping mechanism—worse when it’s your source of motivation. Now, here’s the thing: When your drive is solely fueled by constant comparisons and the desire to outdo someone else, you’ll find yourself in a never-ending car chase with your well-being taking a backseat. I’ve been there, and it’s easier said than done, but here’s why you should stop comparing yourself to other people.

What Works for Others Won’t Necessarily Work for You

With an average screen time of 10 hours a day, I’m consistently bombarded by these standards and peer pressure. And I’m well aware that I’m not the only one who falls down the rabbit hole of scrolling through Instagram feeds, perpetually trying to become that girl. When we made it a mission to live like those content creators who maintain a healthy lifestyle, a skincare routine, all while juggling good grades or a 9-to-5 job, the reality is that what works for others may not necessarily work for you.

I’m not suggesting that you should put your phone down, delete apps, or stop scrolling through TikTok. My advice? Follow people with a similar look, lifestyle, and mindset. It sets the tone for personal growth and self-confidence, rather than constant comparison. Eventually, you’ll realize that there’s nothing wrong with your so-called flaws.

Success Isn’t One-Size-Fits-All

I recall comparing myself to peers who became law school students, flight attendants, and nurses. It was a competitive class, but my mindset was laughably low and immature. If you’re currently in the same situation, it’s important to recognize that success is a highly personal and subjective concept.

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer that says, ‘here’s how to achieve your post-college goals.‘ What success means to one person may not hold the same significance for another. After all, the diversity in definitions of success is what makes the real world an amazing place. Whether it’s achieving a fulfilling career, getting married, or contributing to a cause close to your heart, it’s all about defining your own path and determining your measures of achievement. With that, you’ll feel proud of yourself and those people you went to school with. Who knows?

Your Competition Here? Yourself

In relation to the idea that success isn’t a one-size-fits-all thing, I recall seeing a Pinterest post saying that ‘your only competition is yourself‘ and that resonated with me. I understand that it’s a common tendency to compare ourselves to others, especially in a society that often promotes competition. We measure our progress against the achievements and success stories of those around us, believing that this is the path to self-improvement and personal growth. However, this constant comparison hinders our progress.

Instead of investing your so little time in self-doubt, repeatedly telling yourself that you’ll never be the best student or employee of the month, consider redirecting your focus toward the smallest ways you can build better habits. Like, those minutes could’ve been spent on working out, cleaning your living space, and prioritizing your to-do list for the day.

Don’t Stay Toxic, Girl

Being the D.U.F.F (Designated Ugly Fat Friend), I found myself in a perpetual cycle of comparison with my best friend throughout high school. This seemingly harmless habit spiraled into unnecessary anxiety and unwarranted resentment. Before I even realized it, my envy had strained what could have been a beautiful friendship. There’s no taking back what was said and done, but you can learn from my mistake.

When women are perpetually pitted against each other, let’s stop fueling the fire by being toxic towards our female family members, friends, and coworkers. Constantly comparing ourselves to others can lead to envy, resentment, and strained relationships. Instead of nurturing negativity, let’s focus on being a girl’s girl and supporting women, rather than fighting for a non-existent crown of who’s better.

We All Spend The 24 Hours Of The Day Differently

When we’re out here, trying to survive our own demons, those 24 hours can look pretty different from one person to the next. Between workloads, personal circumstances, and the rollercoaster ride of adulting, life has its not-so-fun way of throwing curveballs. Now, why would you compare yourself to somebody else when what truly matters is ending the day with an understanding of the unseen struggles of other people?

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