There’s more to the lead rapper of SB19 than just spitting bars and nailing all his performances. He also doesn’t shy away from talking about mental health and the trauma that he went through.
(Trigger warning: This article contains topics on depression, anxiety and suicide)
Age comes with wisdom and Josh Cullen, the oldest member of P-Pop group, SB19, has a lot of advice for people who’ve been through a lot like him. In his vlog, Josh shared all his struggles before becoming part of one of the biggest Filipino acts in recent history. Most people usually keep these secrets in the dark, but Josh knows that everything is part of the process. And if his story gets to help another cope and recover, then he has served part of his purpose. Scroll down below for all the times Josh of SB19 got real about mental health and depression.
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1. JOSH KNOWS THAT EVERYONE HAS DIFFERENT STRUGGLES
“‘Yung level 1 mo at level 10 niya, ‘wag mo ico-compare. Ine-enjoy ko na lang kasi ‘di ko naman in-enjoy ‘yung life ko before.”
Josh had a very difficult life growing up. As a kid, he and his sibling were tortured by their helper, they couldn’t afford school anymore, and there were times when they were lucky enough to have two meals a day. On SB19’s Toni Talks guesting, Josh said, “Hindi naman po lahat ng tao pinalad sa buhay. Katulad ko po na siyempre nagte-training ako, pero honestly, wala akong makain sa araw araw. Nanghihingi lang ako ng baon kay Pablo.” On comparing yourself with others, Josh says to just enjoy life one day at a time.
2. IT’S OKAY TO REMOVE PEOPLE FROM YOUR LIFE
“Nagalit ako nung na-realize ko lahat. Pero at the same time, may mga tao namang natutong mag-apologize kaya nung bandang huli, pinatawad ko silang lahat. Meron din akong mga taong binura na rin sa buhay ko. Hindi naman sila nakatulong para mag-improve ako or mag-grow ako.”
When a fan of SB19 asked if Josh ever felt angry at the people around him for the circumstances he experienced, he answered yes without hesitation. “Early version of me, siyempre inosente pa ko,” he shared, saying that a lot of people took advantage of him when he was young. “Hindi ka pa ganun ka mulat sa mundo pero ‘yung desperation ng buhay, ‘yun ‘yung ginamit sakin para ma-take advantage, ma-manipulate.” Thankfully Josh has forgiven them, yet he set the boundaries too by removing people from his life and you know what, that’s okay.
3. JOSH BELIEVES DESPITE ALL THE STRUGGLES, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF NO MATTER HOW HARD IT GETS
“Never destroy yourself.”
“Nung time na mag-isa na lang ako, nawawalan nako ng will to live. Pero mas pinili kong lumaban, mas pinili kong mabuhay.” Josh admitted that even when he was losing the will to live given his difficult life, he never thought of destroying himself or taking his own life. Fighting your demons is never easy, but confronting your fears releases you from all inhibitions and hurdles.
4. BEING THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF IS ALWAYS THE GOAL
“Okay lang magpahinga. Sobrang baba ng self-esteem ko pero inisip ko, after nun lalaban ako. Then I’ll work hard and I’ll be the best version of myself.”
Sometimes, it’s okay to pause, reflect, and rest. We’re so obsessed with productivity that doing nothing seems like a bad thing at times. As Josh says, when you feel tired or burnt out, the best thing to do is to take a break. But always keep in mind that you have to bounce back afterwards better and stronger than ever.
5. CRYING IS NOT A SIGN OF WEAKNESS
“Hindi kahinaan ang pag iyak. Katapangan rin ang pagpapakita ng kahinaan.”
Getting drowned in a river of tears may sound debilitating to some, but it’s actually a sign of strength. Showing your vulnerable side is the first step to reclaiming your power. Like what Josh says, “nagiging matapang din tayo pag pinapakita natin sa iba ‘yung ganung side natin.”
6. THE WORLD DOESN’T REVOLVE AROUND YOU, SO YOU HAVE TO KEEP ON FIGHTING TO FIND YOUR HAPPINESS
“Ganun talaga ang mundo, ‘di naman titigil ang mundo para sa atin.”
Happiness is a subjective thing. Always different for others, this only means that only you get to define it for yourself, and naturally, you have to work and fight for it. At the end of the day, you’re the only one who can determine what makes you happy. Luckily for Josh, it was gaming and music. “Pag alam mo kung pano mo mapapasaya ‘yung sarili mo kahit sa mga maliliit na bagay, kahit papano makaka cope up ka.”
You can watch Josh Cullen’s vlog below:
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