For Dr. Stacey Diane Arañez Litam, the relationship between Filipinos and mental health is complicated and complex, but it can be navigated for the better.
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Many of us have probably been through this scenario at least once in our lives. We’re opening up to our parents or adults in our lives about how we’re feeling and sharing our struggles with our mental health. But instead of feeling validated or given advice, we’re hit with statements like “Gawa-gawa lang yan” or “Just pray” as if everything will magically get better. For as much work as many Filipinos do to bring about proper mental health discourse, the stigma on mental health in the Philippines and Filipino communities in general is still prevalent and persistent. The shame is unfortunately still real, and as a Filipino-American herself and noted expert in the field, that is something Dr. Stacey Diane Arañez Litam knows well.
ON THE PATH TO HEALING
An author, associate professor of counselor education, licensed professional clinical counselor and supervisor, and a clinical sexologist at the American Board of Sexology, Dr. Litam has spent a good portion of her life looking into the generational divide between younger and older Filipinos, especially in migrant communities in the US. For Dr. Litam, it’s an issue that stems from, among other reasons, a deeply embedded stigma in Filipino culture.
“Many of our elders and ancestors have operated from survival mentalities that keep our families safe and often overlook the importance of rest, psychological well-being, and mental health conversations,” she tells NYLON Manila. It is daunting, but that doesn’t mean there’s no path forward to healing and reconciliation.
She delves into this issue in her recently published book, Patterns That Remain—A Guide to Healing for Asian Children of Immigrants. As the name suggests, the book is a guide to dealing with and healing from intergenerational trauma. It offers actionable strategies for children of Asian-American immigrants to navigate that generational divide when it comes to addressing mental health. While written around the immigrant experience, it’s a situation many Gen Z Filipinos in the country can relate to also.
As part of the book tour, Dr. Litam has encountered many individuals who shared their stories of hurt and healing. And throughout her time on the road, Dr. Litam has found their experiences both sobering and empowering. “So many of us continue to operate from insecure attachment styles that negatively impact our relationships as people, partners, and parents,” she shares. “It’s been wonderful to see and hear how parts of my book are empowering readers and attendees to respond with greater understanding, compassion, and care for themselves, as well as their parents, throughout their healing journeys.”
Breaking that stubborn stigma among Filipinos might seem impossible. Still, as Dr. Litam sees it, it is achievable, and it starts with having the right conversations that drive a wider, more encompassing cultural shift. “We can begin destigmatizing mental health in our community by speaking openly about our emotions, feelings, and experiences. Normalizing the natural range of emotions, and how they impact us throughout our lives, can be a powerful strategy to understand the mental health of our friends, community members, and loved ones.”
In a society that doesn’t prioritize mental well-being, pessimism can easily set in, especially for the young generation who feel there’s no hope in finding a better way forward. But as a leading voice in mental health, equity, and healing, Dr. Litam wants you to know that it is possible and it’s more than worth it. As she puts it, “Take your time and move through the healing process with care and self-compassion. You are never alone, even when you feel lonely.”
Read our full interview with Dr. Litam as she shares her tips on dealing with burnout, finding validation, and more below.
Filipinos, especially from older generations, are notorious for disregarding or not taking mental health seriously. Why do you think proper mental health discussions in Filipino communities can be hard to come by?
As a community, Filipinos hold unique historical, religious, and cultural influences that shape our mental health worldviews. Our experiences of colonization combine with high religiosity in ways that may discourage mental health discussions in favor of prayer. Many Filipinos also endorse strong Indigenous cultural attitudes, such as bahala na and utang ng loob, that likely evolved from living and working alongside one another in an archipelago of over 7,000 islands. Taken together, Filipinos may not have the practice, cultural recognition, or mental health literacy to address mental health issues comfortably.
It’s embedded in Filipino culture the importance of family and respect of elders, but that can also lead to friction between the new and old generations. How do you think Filipinos can navigate this cultural divide when it comes to proper mental health discourse?
Filipinos can navigate this cultural divide by remembering our elders, like us, are doing the best they can with what they have. Many of our elders and ancestors have operated from survival mentalities that keep our families safe and often overlook the importance of rest, psychological well-being, and mental health conversations. For many older generations, reflecting on mental health may not be seen as helpful because experiencing overwhelming emotions may have created barriers to acting in ways that promoted survival.
What do you have to say to Filipinos who think that mental health issues and burnout are just made up and all you need to do is to just pray?
Though prayer undoubtedly represents an important cultural and religious value within Filipino communities, sometimes mental health, restoration, and intentional care requires more than prayer. Though prayer can elicit feelings of peace through a bahala na approach to problem solving, other issues may be best addressed through conversations with a trained mental health professional.
During your travels in your book tour, what’s something that surprised you about getting to meet and hear peoples’ stories?
One thing that continues to surprise me is how the book’s message and themes transcend racial, ethnic, generational, and other identities. So many of us continue to operate from insecure attachment styles that negatively impact our relationships as people, partners, and parents. It’s been wonderful to see and hear how parts of my book are empowering readers and attendees to respond with greater understanding, compassion, and care for themselves, as well as their parents, throughout their healing journeys.
Some of the things you’ve heard on the road might be quite heavy. For you personally, how do you take it in and not let it get to you?
It is truly such a privilege to be trusted with people’s stories and I approach these moments with the utmost care and appreciation. Holding space as people share some of the most intimate, painful, and challenging parts of their lives is a gift. With over a decade of experience as a mental health professional, holding space and maintaining emotional boundaries are skills that feel second nature..
“Generational trauma” is a trendy phrase used often on social media, especially amongst the youth. But what exactly is it and how can people know if they’re being affected by it?
Generational trauma refers to an individual or collective experience of significant stress, either isolated or ongoing, that leaves lasting impacts on behavior, attitudes, and worldviews. People may carry generational trauma in the ways they approach relationships, respond to stress, or experience hypervigilance, distrust in others, mental health distress, and other unhelpful behavioral patterns.
How do you think Filipinos can be more considerate and understanding of the mental health of the people around them?
If we want to understand and extend support for our community’s mental health, we must first work to destigmatize mental health conversations. We can begin destigmatizing mental health in our community by speaking openly about our emotions, feelings, and experiences. Normalizing the natural range of emotions, and how they impact us throughout our lives, can be a powerful strategy to understand the mental health of our friends, community members, and loved ones.
One thing that a lot of Gen Z Filipinos look for is validation when it comes to their mental health issues. What advice would you give to young Filipinos who feel that their concerns aren’t being heard?
I would encourage young Filipinos to remember that they are worthy of love and belonging. I would remind them that their feelings are real, valid, and matter. I would advise them to build intentional communities of care who can hold space for vulnerable emotions and who can reflect on their experiences.
As burnout and feeling overwhelmed have become big concerns among Filipino youth, what are some things they can practice to manage burnout and their well-being?
I am incredibly passionate about intentional restoration and decolonizing self-care approaches. Many individuals equate rest to stillness and this is not necessarily true. Rest is restoration and we can engage in restorative practices through a number of ways including being in community, cooking and sharing meals, engaging in creative practices, making music, and dancing. .
For people who may know someone who is going through mental health related issues, how can they reach out and support them?
Encouraging your loved one to seek professional mental health services can be a helpful way to ensure they have adequate support. Additionally, holding space and simply listening without judgment can be another wonderful strategy to extend care and support.
What would you say to Filipino Gen Z who feel that there’s no hope in finding healing and peace from trauma?
Healing from trauma takes time and yet you are worthy of peace. Take your time and move through the healing process with care and self-compassion. You are never alone, even when you feel lonely. Lean on your community and the power of Kapwa.
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