Are you ready to date? What’s dating like these days? Find out as we explore romance, singlehood, and relationships in the latest episode of NYLON Manila VOICES.
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Dating, particularly in the age of dating apps and popular Gen Z sentiments and principles, can be a slippery slope for anyone—single, taken, or “it’s complicated” alike. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been in the game a while or you’ve been single your whole life. Finding someone you just click with, cultivating a relationship, and sustaining it takes a lot of work! It also takes a lot of faith, because there’s just so much you don’t know before you enter into a relationship, particularly if it’s your first.
Not to worry, because we can take some of the stress away. Just settle in and watch or listen to the latest episode of our newest podcast NYLON Manila VOICES, where we talk all things Gen Z dating and relationships.
With student leader Eara Cayanga, content creator couple Andrea Fabian and Air Aguila, and life coach Eric Cruz, we dove straight into the burning relationship questions we wanted answers to, like common issues Gen Z runs into when it comes to romance and dating, how you know if you’re ready to date, and even some red flags!
DON’T BE AFRAID OF SOLITUDE
Whether or not you’re in a relationship, find solace within yourself. It really does start within—figure out what you want, what you need, and who you could be as a partner, but never lose sight of who you are. And don’t ever feel that you need someone to be “complete,” because you’re already whole. For Andrea, before she got into a relationship, she loved going out on her own and spending time with herself, but that didn’t change even after she and Air started dating. Now she just has someone to do what she loves with!
“Ask yourself, would you be okay with your own company? Are you completely okay being alone?” Andrea noted. “If the answer is yes, then I think that’s the perfect time you could say you’re ready to be in a relationship.”
YOU’RE YOUR OWN PERSON
It’s so easy to find “ideal” romances and relationships, what with it being everywhere from TV and movies to social media, but know that everyone, individuals and partners, is different. Even couples who seem “perfect” on social media really aren’t, and Drei and Air acknowledge this. Don’t make others who seem like they have a relationship where nothing goes wrong a standard for your relationship, because it’s yours and yours alone (and it’s most likely not realistic).
Whether you just want to date or find someone who’s in it for the long game, whether you want to get on a dating app or meet someone organically, trust in yourself and don’t try to copy someone else’s love story. You’re your own person.
KNOW WHAT YOU WANT, BUT BE OPEN TO THE NEW
Like Eara, you may have an idea about what kind of person you want to date or the kind of relationship you want to be in. That’s fine! Whether you’re particular about their perspectives on marriage or how they value family, having preset notions about the kind of partner you want can help you figure out if you’ll click or not. But don’t be so closed off to different types of people. Nobody’s perfect, and “You never really know until you try,” as Eara bravely noted. Be critical and watch out for red flags, but don’t be so dismissive that you no longer open yourself up to love.
IT’S NOT A YOU PROBLEM, BESTIE
No, it’s not your fault you haven’t found someone yet. Coach Eric assured everyone that you don’t have to be in a relationship to be okay. Though thoughts of not being “worthy enough” or deserving of being in a relationship may plague your mind, especially when it seems like everyone around you is in a happy relationship, it’s not the truth. Convince yourself that you are able to be at your best whether or not you’re in a relationship, and that there’s no shortage of love in your life even if you’re not in one.
SELF-LOVE, VULNERABILITY, & COMMUNICATION
So before getting into a relationship, work on yourself! Be content with and love who you are while still endeavoring to grow as a person and a partner, and be open to being vulnerable with yourself and other people, too. Being vulnerable entails a lot of communication, so when you’re about to embark on a relationship, or if you’re already in one, communicate. Talk openly about how you feel, what you need, what you want, what you want to work out, and everything you want to figure out. It takes a lot of tearing down walls and establishing foundations to get into a relationship, but if you’re down, then let no one, not even yourself, stop you from living your best (love)life.
Want to figure out a little bit more about this whole dating thing? Head on over to YouTube or Spotify to watch or listen to the third episode of NYLON Manila VOICES, out now!
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