Nothing like strong female friendships to get you through the rollercoaster ride that is being a girl in this wide, wild world.
Related: What Is A Girl’s Girl And How Can You Be One?
“Nearly everything I know about love, I’ve learnt from my long-term friendships with women.” This quote from Dolly Alderton’s Everything I Know About Love lives rent-free in a lot of young women’s lives. It’s an illuminating statement that highlights the impact of strong female relationships on life and happiness.
It takes more than just a stroke of luck to make your own connections with women that will not only uplift and encourage you, but will also keep it real to your face and walk hand-in-hand with you as you navigate girlhood together.
For instance, although content creators Joce Morales, Jasmin Lao, Iya Omaña, and Joize Frilles have often come across each other at events during the course of their work, it took some time before they turned shy “hellos” into an empowering friendship that’s refreshing to see in a world that can be full of contempt and insincerity.
On Joce: Skirt by @edisonfamisaran, Earrings by @alchemistaonline and @terragems.co, Belt by @antleraccessories, Heels by @sofabph. On Jasmin: Skirt by @edisonfamisaran, Earrings by @antleraccessories and @terragems.co, Belt by @antleraccessories, Heels by @figliashoes. On Iya: Skirt by @edisonfamisaran, Earrings by @terragems.co, Belt by @antleraccessories, Heels by @melissaphilippines. On Joize: Skirt by @edisonfamisaran, Earrings by @terragems.co, Belt by @jewelnation.ph, Heels by @sofabph
CONFIDENCE AND GIRLHOOD
Girlhood, which is essentially the construct of “the state of being a girl” and navigating the world, now associated with stereotypical “girly” things like dressing up, makeup, or sleepovers (but should honestly be more associated with support, encouragement, and empowerment) can be a difficult road to traverse. It’s littered with limiting stereotypes, patriarchal systems, and bouts of sensationalism that only serve to put women in boxes they’ve tried to escape all their lives. It’s an obstacle course. But it is also a living truth.
Being a girl is hard, especially in this world designed to always keep women on the margins. But it doesn’t have to be—and for Joce, Jasmine, Iya, and Joize, like many other girls out there, they’re redefining what it means to be a girl. Young women go through their own kind of girlhood, and it could mean plenty of things to plenty of people.
“Girlhood is helping each other out,” Jasmin simply says. “Even if someone doesn’t voice out na kailangan niya ng help, ikaw na mag-offer ng help.” From giving a girl what she needs in a public bathroom to faking being a friend to get her away from a creep, holding her accountable for mistakes she’s made to making her aware of the red flags in the guy she’s seeing, girlhood can simply just be being there for all of the other girls that are also finding their way through this chaotic life.
“It’s just about being real and not being fake,” Joce adds.
Yes, the sensationalization and aestheticization of “girlhood” has led to plenty of valid criticism, such as limiting the experience of girls and women to the experiences of those white, rich, and privileged, or as a step back from the efforts of women’s liberation. But approach also matters, as well as applying general concepts into personal context so as to not warp what it means to be a girl into just one thing.
The recent trend of “I’m just a girl” and “girl math” doesn’t help, as it can easily influence others to use it as an excuse to not do something and to fuel the regression towards sentiments about women that bore the likes of sayings like “you throw like a girl.” It’s reductive and dangerous. However, to some, such trends also just mocks the stereotype that girls are just not smart or capable.
“I never really thought of it that way,” Jasmin muses about the criticism to such trends, and the rest agree. Though it’s pertinent to discuss the lasting effects of propagating such trends to impressionable audiences, the girls personally don’t perceive current trends surrounding “being a girl” as demeaning or limiting to their capacity as human beings.
They’re able to propel themselves towards reaching their dreams and living fulfilling lives. In part, this could be attributed to the support system they’ve gotten as they grew into capable, independent young women with agency and heart—and that support system includes each other.
The foursome’s mutual connections have led to a closer bond that helped them grow more confident in their skin—particularly in the path they’ve chosen to pursue, where confidence is everything. And in this friendship, they draw confidence from each other.
SISTERHOOD AND SOLIDARITY
“We understand each other’s challenges,” Iya says. “Nababawasan yung bigat when it comes to our work.” As creators, it’s pretty difficult to separate work from life, considering you make life content a lot of the times, but they find it’s less burdensome when you have people who understand.
It may come off as annoying when we have a friend that takes too long taking photos or makes a mess of their closet looking for that perfect outfit for an event, but shared experience does make the load that much lighter, so being surrounded by people who understand what each other has to do for their passions is valuable to each girl. And hyping each other up means a lot when their job entails looking good and making creative decisions.
“It’s really about inspiring and genuinely supporting [each other],” Iya remarks. “When you’re together with your girls, you magnify each other’s strengths.”
“Walang halong inggit,” Joize adds. The world does love to pit women against each other, but to a real girls’ girl, unnecessary competition is a big no-no. An empowering friendship is all about wanting what’s best for each other, highlighting the strengths a girl may not even know she had, and looking out for each other.
GENUINE CONNECTIONS, STRONG FOUNDATIONS
Are you even truly friends if you don’t get into an argument once in a while? No one’s perfect, and no relationship or friendship is always perfect. Confrontation is healthy, Joce says in reference to how a friendship lasts and grows stronger. “Voice out what you think. Don’t hide anything, especially if you feel that something is off.”
“If they’re a good friend, i-aaccept lang nila ‘yon,” Jasmin adds. Talking things out, especially if it’s about something serious or something that really bugged you, may be scary, but it’s necessary for a friendship to grow. Honest conversations and having each other’s backs through it all makes a friendship that much more solid. And a solid friendship doesn’t just help those in the group—it radiates.
“Outside of our friendship, we’re more confident in the sense that we’re also uplifting others and being genuine with them.” Iya says about being able to make meaningful genuine connections because of the friendship they’ve fostered. These girls have seen and experienced how it is to grow with the support of friends, and they want others to feel the love and support they do.
Their friendship is a backbone, the foundation on which they stand on as proud, confident young women who only wants to empower their fellow women. And though sometimes, some people find it hard to find strong female connections and friendships in their life, the girls advise, “Step out of your comfort zone, be curious, and be open to new friendships.”
The sort of friendship that amplifies a girl’s confidence empowers her to not to view themselves as anything less than a capable force of nature—that you’re not just a girl. You are a girl, and, as Iya says, “It’s a superpower. I’m a girl, and I can do this.’”
On Joce: Top and skirt by @josephpalma, Necklace by @jewelnation.ph, Earrings by @alchemistaonline and @terragems.co, Rings by @terragems.co, Flats by @melissaphilippines. On Joize: Top and skirt by @by__gia, Earrings by @alchemistaonline and @terragems.co, Rings by @terragems.co, Shoes by @adidasph. On Iya: Top and skirt by @kristylesph, Earrings and rings by @terragems.co, Heels by @charleskeithofficial. On Jasmin: Top and skirt by @kingbykingmorden, Earrings by @antleraccessories and @terragems.co, Necklace by @jewelnation.ph, Platforms by @sofabph.
Photography by JOSH TOLENTINO
Assisted by TATE BERSALES
Creative and Fashion Direction by ANDRE CHANG
Art Direction by GELO QUIJENCIO
Styling by ANDRE CHANG
Fashion Associate KURT ABONAL
Production Design by ARJ MADZ of JAGGER STUDIOS
Makeup by JAPETH PUROG and GERY PENASO
Hair Stylists PATTY CRISTOBAL and TJ RIMOCAL
Nail Artist LUZ FORTUNO and JENNIFER PASCUAL of TRIPLE LUCK BROW & NAIL SALON
Shoot Coordination by JASMIN DASIGAN
Deputy Editor RAFAEL BAUTISTA
Sr. Brand Associate BIANCA LAO
Grab your copy of the Girlhood MyZine Print Pack featuring Joce Morales, Jasmin Lao, Iya Omaña, and Joize Frilles now HERE.
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