There’s nothing wrong with being expressive. But for situations where emotional stakes are a little higher, here’s how to keep your poker face on.
Related: Am I Pretty Yet? How Face Filters Have Affected My Self-Image and Life Outside of Social Media
Are you often described as being very transparent? That you could be read like an open book? We love authenticity, but if you’re a member of the “face with subtitles” club, then you’ve probably gotten in trouble at least once for accidentally making a face that speaks louder than words.
@alijhali I guess we’ll never know what the salt shaker did #fy #skit ♬ original sound – Alejandro
Wearing your heart out on your sleeve (or, in this case, your face card) is great for open and honest communication, and living a life with few regrets. But it’s not always our best friend – especially in cases like work meetings, serious family discussions, etc. So while we’re not at all saying that there’s something wrong with having facial muscles with a reaction time of .2 seconds, here are some tips you can use should you need it.
Relaxation is a Must
@daytonmodderman anyone else #fyp ♬ Feeling Good – Michael Bublé
The key to keeping your face neutral without looking like you have a gun to your head is to be relaxed. “Taking a breath” and “calming your mind” sound like overused cliches. But the cliche exists for a reason: because it’s effective.
So if you can feel the blood start to rush to your ears, your heart starts to beat fast (or any other physical signs that tell you you’re about to go off – and not in a cute way), stop what you’re doing and breathe. If you can step away, that could also be extremely helpful.
If there are particular people or situations that cause you stress, you can create rituals to mentally prep yourself for the fray beforehand. If you go into these things with a level head, you’ll be able to accomplish more without accidentally offending anyone.
Aim Higher
@spillinthetee bestie definitely saw #fyp #foryou #foryoupage #fypシ #lol #funny #comedy #humor #trending #viral #xyz #xyzbca #xyzcba ♬ original sound – j3thrx
Instead of setting the goal post for your default facial expression as “neutral”, try going for “happy” instead. Why?
Using a similar logic to when planning your budget, where you underestimate how much you can spend and overestimate how much things cost, you want to give yourself wiggle room so that if you accidentally react more strongly than anticipated you still land on an expression that is either positive or at least neutral.
If you start at neutral, you may end up on the scrunched face you’re avoiding. So, by starting off with a more positive expression, you’re more likely to keep your face in check.
Keep an Open Mind
@jinidabini how i spent my lunch break today
♬ september slowed – mar 🪼
Don’t listen to respond. Actually listen. When you’re entering an argument or disagreement is the real danger zone. So, if the desire to defend your position starts to seep in, stop yourself and try to shift to a mode of curiosity instead. Instead of laying out your counterargument right away, ask them to elaborate on their response. Ask them why they feel that way and how they arrived there. And then genuinely hear them out.
When we face things that challenge us with openness, we give ourselves the opportunity to learn and grow. You also get the added benefit of keeping your conversation partner at ease so that the two of you can arrive at a place of understanding, rather than potentially damaging the relationship.
Quiet Confidence
@pissedmagistus #stitch with @GlennyDevvy ♬ original sound – glennydevvyy
Remember: the root of all defensiveness is insecurity and fear. You only feel the need to defend yourself if you think: 1) that you’re being attacked and/or; 2) that there’s a sensitive nerve that’s being pressed. While there are instances that someone is truly attacking you, it’s important to remember that other times it’s really not that serious. When a person disagrees with us, it’s less to do with them saying there’s something wrong with us and more to do with them expressing their personal viewpoint about a particular issue.
Being reactionary can oftentimes come from the need to keep our reputations unblemished. Like making a mistake is an unforgivable crime punishable by death. But in the immortal words of teen pop sensation Hannah Montana: everybody makes mistakes, everybody has those days. Having that grace towards others and ourselves can help us better face criticism and take them apart for the bits that serve us and discard the ones that don’t.
Continue reading: The Problem with the ‘Clean Girl’ TikTok Trend and ~Aesthetic~
