We’re being very demure, very mindful, very considerate by letting you know why everybody’s suddenly so “demure“.
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At this point, we’re all too familiar with how a simple word or phrase can change the course of everybody’s life (because now we all won’t stop saying it). From IJBOL to charot, certain slang terms have entered our lexicon and refused to leave. Case in point: the most recent phrase on everyone’s minds and social media pages, after “brat,” is “very demure, very mindful.”
Used to refer to a certain type of demeanor or behavior in certain situations, the phrase is now undergoing what slang terms usually go through—which is basically be used over and over and over again across all media, twisted and turned on its head as people make it their own, and get questioned by people annoyed at hearing it again and again or people who have no idea why everyone is suddenly repeating the same phrase. But let’s unpack this very demurely, very mindfully—where exactly did this new trend come from?
DEMURE ORIGINS
@joolieannie #fyp #demure ♬ original sound – Jools Lebron
“Very demure, very mindful” was started by trans beauty influencer and makeup artist Jools Lebron, who posted a TikTok video about her makeup and looks for a job interview.
“See how I do my makeup for work? Very demure, very mindful. I don’t come to work with a green cut-crease. I don’t do too much—I’m very mindful while I’m at work,” she says in the TikTok. “See how I look very presentable? The way I came to the interview is the way I go to the job. A lot of you girls go to the interview looking like Marge Simpson and go to the job looking like Patty and Selma, not demure. I’m very modest, I’m very mindful. Be mindful of why they hired you.”
Jools was referencing her own experiences, having done over-the-top makeup at a previous job. She’s also done follow-up videos to the “demure” series, talking about how to be demure and mindful when ordering room service, when partying, or even when at the airport.
@joolieannie #fyp #demure ♬ original sound – Jools Lebron
From the cadence to the message to the satirical humor, Jools’ video sticks with you. And clearly, it’s stuck with everyone, as within days, everyone—from random X users to celebrities—has adopted the meme, used it themselves, and even turned it on its head.
you see how i exited your life quietly? very demure very cute very mindful
— C. (@5stvrchy) August 12, 2024
i am not demure i am insane
— luvy (@Iuvyduvy) August 18, 2024
SO VERY MINDFUL
@joolieannie #fyp #demure ♬ original sound – Jools Lebron
Though it doesn’t stray too far from the actual meaning of the words, to be demure and mindful (and any other adjective now attached to the meme, like “considerate” or “cutesy”) is to exhibit “proper” behaviors in certain situations. Demure itself is a way to describe someone who is reserved, quiet, and modest. But Jools, and the rest of the Internet, are redefining what it means to be demure.
For the most part, it’s about not doing too much, but without letting yourself be a passive doormat. You have to be mindful and considerate, not messy—very demure.
@joolieannie #fyp ♬ original sound – Jools Lebron
It’s not anything like a PSA to be demure in the sense that you should be “prim and proper”, though. At its core, it’s satire—it’s now gone on to mean to poke fun at what it means to be traditionally demure and simply embrace being confident, considerate, and self-aware.
Like many other terminologies and slang words, it now takes on a life of its own—not entirely separate, but different, from its original form. Being very demure, very mindful, has become a running joke, a satirization. People use it not in the sense that they’re seriously pushing to be demure in the dictionary definition way, but in humorous, clever ways to show contrast in behavior.
@joolieannie #fyp #demure ♬ original sound – Jools Lebron
Add demure to the long list of trends, slang, and memes that make their way to the larger public consciousness. Trans person of color Jools once again shows how so much of language and modern internet culture is rooted in minorities, from queer people to people of color. It’s also fascinating to see how people can change or add to language, creating their own ways to communicate certain messages—in this case, a message of demurity (yes, we said demurity) and mindfulness.
It’s also great when people get their dues. For instance, Jools has revealed that her “demure” series has allowed her to score brand deals and hosting gigs—as well as finance her transition! See, social media can be used for the good.
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