The “If It Wasn’t On Social Media, It Didn’t Happen” Mindset Needs To Stop

Lowkey and still thriving.

Yes, you can live your best life without having to share all of it on social media.

Related: The (Messy) Ethics Of Sharing Screenshots Of DMs On Social Media

I won’t deny that I’m chronically online, but if you were to take a look at my social media accounts, it’s like a mountain stream on a hot summer day, barely there. I don’t post on my social media accounts. Sure, an IG post every six months and IG stories here and there, but for the most part, I’m not the type to post so often online. 

I’ve always been ok with being like that, keeping most of my business to myself, but it seems that to do so will have you frowned upon by the social media masses for “not having a life”. Oh, you didn’t post about your vacation abroad? Well, according to social media, it never happened. Frankly, that’s the wrong way to go and the opposite of what social media should be used for. 


To say that social media is both a blessing and a curse is the understatement of the century. Ideally, it should be used as a tool to express and share yourself with the world and connect with other people. And, for the most part, people do that. But the problem lies when social media becomes the only factor to judge someone’s life. 

We are inherently social beings who enjoy and even seek approval and affirmation from the people around us. Social media has become the top platform to do just that. The hunt for validation online is real. From likes, shares, follows views, comments, and more, these statistics serve as rewards that determine how much we value ourselves. 


Yes, it is natural and even ok if you want to flex your achievements, success, and experiences in life on social media. But to do so for the sole purpose of a confidence boost and digital thumbs up from friends, family, and even strangers is behavior that can lead to a slippery slope of needing social media to affirm that you have a life or can keep up with your followers. More importantly, it breeds a toxic mindset that life only revolves around what you share on social media.

This kind of thinking can even manifest in worse forms, such as when celebrities and public figures are criticized for things just because of what is and isn’t on their feeds. They are met with all sorts of assumptions even though social media is just one aspect of a person’s life. That there is a problem. Imagine wanting to see, do, or experience things with the main goal of sharing them on social media. The experience and meaning of life is lost. You share online because that’s what you want to share, not because it will validate your experience.


In my line of work, I have access to so many opportunities that many of my peers can only dream of. Admittedly, it has crossed my mind to post what I’ve done online for my followers to see that I’m living the life. Seeing the reactions and likes I get gives me a feel-good boost that primes my mind to do it again and again. But over time, I’ve come to realize that that isn’t the way to go about things. I share what I want to share and keep the rest for myself. 

Some might think that this is just a shallow concern, but feeding this never-ending cycle of turning your life into social media validation fodder can mess with your mental health. Your self-esteem gets affected, self-confidence takes a hit, anxiety increases, and you lose who you are in this constant search for affirming content.

It’s about time we move away from the thinking that something only happened if there is proof on social media. Social media should not be the gatekeeper that determines if one is having a good life. There’s no problem if you want to share and post about your life online, but don’t also fall under the pressure that everything needs to be online. It is ok to keep things private and not post. 


That concert of your fave artist you attended will always be something you can cherish even if you didn’t post a single fancam online. That delicious meal you treated yourself to? Still delicious even without an IG story to commemorate it. The barkada beach trip is going to live in your mind rent-free without that TikTok video. Social media does and should not invalidate your feelings.

Don’t deny yourself happiness just because it’s not shared online. Your private life is still a life, regardless of what some may say. Just look at Benedict Cua. He’s a public figure and content creator, yet he surprised the world by revealing that he is a father only when he was ready to do so. You can still keep it lowkey and private, and the world will still turn. So, go live your life and remember why you’re doing it in the first place. 

Continue Reading: Here’s A Reminder That You Shouldn’t Always Take Everything You See On Social Media At Face Value